Letting go already

It is such a hard thing to let go of the sin I have been clinging to. The sin that comforts me and tells me I am in the right. So unsatisfying. To just give it all away and give it to Jesus to carry for me. Giving it up and being who I should be without getting my revenge, without letting anyone know they wronged me. Letting them go on in merry existence without "paying" for it. Giving it away to God sounds so nice and looks good in the Bible. But getting rid of that emotional weight which actually weighs nothing is hard to lift and give. It's easier to be weighted down, then let it go and soar like a helium balloon. But, that's what my God has asked of me. I can't be who He called me to be if I let the heavy sin keep me down. He never lets us take the easy road. It's for the betterment of ourselves, I know. It's hard to express how painful I find it to just give up and give it to God. This growing process, this being like Jesus process, it's not a walk in the park, but someday, I will walk in the park with HIM.